17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as
you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you
strong. –Ephesians 3:17
All my life I felt I was a Christian, then came the day I submitted my
life to Christ. This submission did not
come easy. In reviewing my reactions to
collateral damage in my life, I had come to the Garden of Gethsemane. During that time God gave me a poem and named
it, “God’s Video Tape.” The words of
this poem raged in my head, it would not go away. For two days I cried and walked the floors .
. . the poem raging in my head. The pain
I experienced during this time is indescribable. It was intense. On the third morning I sat down at my
computer and began to write the words God was giving me. The words flowed swiftly. I wrote in paragraphs before I realized it
was a poem. I wrote the words exactly as
I received them …. not changing a word.
When I had finished, I realized the message God was trying to give
me. We, as Christians, do not justify
our actions by what others did to us. We
stay faithful to God our Father and submit in faith to His will. Many years went by and I did not share this
poem. I felt it was too personal, too
intimate. Through the years, I began to
understand the depth and meaning of this poem. As I read my Bible through these years, I came
across scripture for every line and verse God had given me. I realized there are times when people all
around me live a life of this poem. I
share my God given poem at the end of this Blog.
After receiving this poem my life changed
completely. My reading of God’s Word
became more focused and reading became study.
Then there was the day I honestly began to let go of self and seek only
the Will of God. In that time-frame I said,
“Lord I will do anything and go anywhere you send me. Just don’t send me to China.” I submitted but not my ALL . My
walk in the Garden of Gethsemane did not end with the poem. I struggled for several years relinquishing ALL to my God. Then the day came when I experienced God’s view
of submission. AT that point in my life I confessed, “Lord,
I will do anything and go anywhere you send me.
I will even go to China.”
This submission was not my twelve-year-old
confession of faith. It was not the
years I was confident that I was a faithful Christian. This was the adult, mature Charlsey who gave
her life to Christ Jesus in total submission. At long last I realized through the eyes of my
heart what Christ Jesus wanted me to understand. In the core of my being, I experienced His love in my
Garden of Gethsemane!
When I had written the poem as God gave me the
words, in an audible voice, God said: “you be faithful to Me; I’ll take care of
the rest.” I read over the poem and
began to realize whatever happens in life, collateral damage, choices,
mistakes, errors of heart, self-will; we must meet our God in the Garden of
Gethsemane. He calls us to submit to His
Will, teachings, and grow in His character.
We must confess and repent of our own falling short (sin). We cannot live in justification, blaming
others; “I wouldn’t have done that IF……” We cannot continue to excuse self as my
little two-year-old daughter once said over a broken toy, “Kitty Tom did it.” We are responsible for our own actions and no
one can do our own submission. We close
with Ephesians 4:1-3. We claim this
scripture with our God given passion.
This is submission! Have you walked your Garden Gethsemane?
God's
Video Tape
God played the
videotape
Of the life I've lived
on earth.
The things I've said
the choices made,
In all their height and
girth.
As I watch I ache
inside
Because I failed Him so.
The things I see, the
pain I've caused
Was not my heart's
intent.
My faith is real I love
Him so;
It was love I really
meant.
I found fault, I
complained, I judged,
Anger I displayed.
Frustration grew, sin
came in
In sinfulness I swayed.
I lost sight of the
love I meant;
The pain grows mightily.
What others do or say
Free choice is theirs
to make.
Now I know I cannot
judge
God will undertake.
The video plays on, my
tears freely flow.
My soul is bleeding too.
He takes my hand and
talks to me;
A sweet voice soft and
true.
I see the light around
His face
And comfort fills
within.
He wipes my tears and
tells to me
A truth we all should
know.
"I shed your
tears, I bled for you
I cleanse you white as
snow".
I humbly bow before my
Lord
As the video tape plays
on.
He wants me to see the
future;
He wants me to know the
dawn.
"Your path is
different now
Your eyes are set on
Me".
"Your Love is with
your heart's intent;
Goodness fills your
soul".
Forgiveness in His eyes
I see;
Forgiveness is my goal.
Because he cried and
bled for me
And love is my intent.
Forgiveness must begin with
me
And dwell with me
The reason He was sent.
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