Friday, April 5, 2019

11. Growing in Prayer – The Learning Tree – (6) Submission

17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.  –Ephesians 3:17

All my life I felt I was a Christian, then came the day I submitted my life to Christ.  This submission did not come easy.  In reviewing my reactions to collateral damage in my life, I had come to the Garden of Gethsemane.  During that time God gave me a poem and named it, “God’s Video Tape.”  The words of this poem raged in my head, it would not go away.  For two days I cried and walked the floors . . . the poem raging in my head.  The pain I experienced during this time is indescribable.  It was intense.  On the third morning I sat down at my computer and began to write the words God was giving me.  The words flowed swiftly.  I wrote in paragraphs before I realized it was a poem.  I wrote the words exactly as I received them …. not changing a word.  When I had finished, I realized the message God was trying to give me.  We, as Christians, do not justify our actions by what others did to us.  We stay faithful to God our Father and submit in faith to His will.  Many years went by and I did not share this poem.  I felt it was too personal, too intimate.  Through the years, I began to understand the depth and meaning of this poem.  As I read my Bible through these years, I came across scripture for every line and verse God had given me.  I realized there are times when people all around me live a life of this poem.   I share my God given poem at the end of this Blog. 

After receiving this poem my life changed completely.  My reading of God’s Word became more focused and reading became study.  Then there was the day I honestly began to let go of self and seek only the Will of God.  In that time-frame I said, “Lord I will do anything and go anywhere you send me.  Just don’t send me to China.”  I submitted but not my ALL.  My walk in the Garden of Gethsemane did not end with the poem.  I struggled for several years relinquishing ALL to my God.  Then the day came when I experienced God’s view of submission.     AT that point in my life I confessed, “Lord, I will do anything and go anywhere you send me.  I will even go to China.” 

This submission was not my twelve-year-old confession of faith.  It was not the years I was confident that I was a faithful Christian.  This was the adult, mature Charlsey who gave her life to Christ Jesus in total submission.  At long last I realized through the eyes of my heart what Christ Jesus wanted me to understand.  In the core of my being, I experienced His love in my Garden of Gethsemane!

When I had written the poem as God gave me the words, in an audible voice, God said: “you be faithful to Me; I’ll take care of the rest.”  I read over the poem and began to realize whatever happens in life, collateral damage, choices, mistakes, errors of heart, self-will; we must meet our God in the Garden of Gethsemane.  He calls us to submit to His Will, teachings, and grow in His character.  We must confess and repent of our own falling short (sin).  We cannot live in justification, blaming others; “I wouldn’t have done that IF……”  We cannot continue to excuse self as my little two-year-old daughter once said over a broken toy, “Kitty Tom did it.”  We are responsible for our own actions and no one can do our own submission.  We close with Ephesians 4:1-3.  We claim this scripture with our God given passion.

This is submission!  Have you walked your Garden Gethsemane?

God's Video Tape

God played the videotape
Of the life I've lived on earth.
The things I've said the choices made,
In all their height and girth.
As I watch I ache inside
Because I failed Him so.
The things I see, the pain I've caused
Was not my heart's intent.
My faith is real I love Him so;
It was love I really meant.

I found fault, I complained, I judged,
Anger I displayed.
Frustration grew, sin came in
In sinfulness I swayed.
I lost sight of the love I meant;
The pain grows mightily.
What others do or say
Free choice is theirs to make.
Now I know I cannot judge
God will undertake.

The video plays on, my tears freely flow.
My soul is bleeding too.
He takes my hand and talks to me;
A sweet voice soft and true.
I see the light around His face
And comfort fills within.
He wipes my tears and tells to me
A truth we all should know.                                    
"I shed your tears, I bled for you
I cleanse you white as snow".

I humbly bow before my Lord
As the video tape plays on.
He wants me to see the future;
He wants me to know the dawn.
"Your path is different now
Your eyes are set on Me".
"Your Love is with your heart's intent;
Goodness fills your soul".

Forgiveness in His eyes I see;
Forgiveness is my goal.
Because he cried and bled for me
And love is my intent.
Forgiveness must begin with me
And dwell with me
The reason He was sent.

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